Saturday, September 8, 2012

Rule 5 Post: Democratic Mistress Edition


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 After a DNC featuring Bill Clinton and chaired by Antonio Villaraigosa, what else were you expecting?

This is actually another area where the Democratic Party shines. Democratic Presidents don't only produce far more jobs and dead U.S. servicemen than their Republican counterparts, they also produce far more Presidential mistresses.

Nixon? Ford? Reagan? The Bushes? Not a mistress among them.

For Democratic Presidents, though, if you haven't got at least one bit on the side, you're not doing it right.

More than Marilyn (and more of Marilyn) after the jump.

The modern champion of Presidential skirt chasing has to be JFK. He had all the aphrodisiac bases covered: very wealthy, as powerful as it gets, and good looking to boot. And he put them to good use with a long list of ladies, of whom we'll just focus on two:

Most notable, of course, was Marilyn:

But as a Democrat, JFK wasn't just about nailing celebrities. A socialite like Mary Pinchot Meyer would do nicely as well:

Gary Hart desperately wanted to be JFK, to the point of conspicuously walking around with his hand in his suit jacket pocket in a bizarre homage. He may very well have made it to the White House had he not been caught out emulating JFK by carrying on with an attractive blonde to whom he was not married, Donna Rice:

Bill Clinton also wanted desperately to be JFK, and succeeded in both becoming President, and in using the Oval Office as a platform for habitual infidelity to his wife. Since his wife is Hillary Clinton, I can't find it in me to condemn him, but whereas JFK was able to leverage the Presidency into trysts with Marilyn Monroe, Clinton seems to have just gone slumming. Monica Lewinsky is far from homely, but perhaps not really Presidential mistress material:

Nobody in the media likes to talk about rumors of Barack Obama's infidelity. Presumably like all other criticism of Obama, it would be racist. Plus, there are just unsubstantiated rumors; they aren't the sort of thing that you go plastering on the front page of the New York Times. Wait, what? Nevermind. In that case, I give you rumored Obama mistress Vera Baker:

Obama just formally accepted the 2012 nomination at the DNC, which was chaired by Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. While best known now for perpetrating blatant vote fraud on the Democratic Party platform, Villaraigosa also has a way with the ladies. For example, when he was married, Villaraigosa had his way with reporter Mirthala Salinas:

But the preceding are just garden-variety sleaze. For the industrial grade stuff, you want to look to someone who fathers a child with his mistress, amid the scrutiny of a Presidential campaign, while his wife is dying of cancer. John Edwards, take a bow. And let's have a look at Reille Hunter while we're at it:

De gustibus non est disputandum, as they say.

Former Virginia Governor and Senator Chuck Robb was often mooted as a plausible Presidential candidate, and may well have become one but for his indiscretions, such as those with Tai Collins:

We'll wrap things up with Client Number 9, even though the only way former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is getting in to the White House is if he buys a ticket for a public tour. Spitzer's wholesale scumbaggery is illustrated by the fact that even as a very wealthy Governor of New York, the only way he could become embroiled in a sex scandal was by paying the lady involved, Ashley Alexandra Dupre:


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